Last month, I got called a pushy parent by C’s school. I’m not too surprised about that, because I’ve spent months going back and forth with them about getting accommodations for C. This is despite the fact that I let them know about his needs when we applied last year and again over the summer before he began. So, I’m sure to them I’m a thorn in their side and seem pushy. However, I don’t see advocating for my child as being a negative like they do.
It’s been almost dizzying the back and forth about using EPGY at school. Shortly after my last update, they tried to pull the plug on EPGY yet again and told us to pick up the laptop. They made this decision after C chose to do the classwork over EPGY a few days in a row. Therefore they decided he should never have the opportunity to use EPGY at school the rest of the year. When I told them how disappointed C was and how we had mistakenly thought he had the choice of which to do depending on whether he was engaged in the classwork, suddenly they reversed direction again and we were told we can leave the laptop. This on again, off again way of dealing with accommodations is very difficult on C and us.
By now C knows that the school does not support him using EPGY or doing anything differently from the rest of his class. He’s pretty good at figuring out people and situations and now seems to adapt what he says to whoever he’s speaking with. There have been a few situations so far where he’s told me and his school the complete opposite. He knows what we want to hear, and is more than happy to oblige, regardless of the truth. I feel bad that he thinks he can’t be himself.
While I was not surprised to be called pushy by C’s school, some of the rest of their message was a shock. They went on make a series of critical comments about my parenting and how I’m going to damage C. They also turned my asking for C to experience at least some academic challenge into my wanting him to constantly learn new material without any down time or review, which they go on to say is unhealthy and inhuman. Of course I never advocated for such a thing and in fact had only asked for a 20 minute per day accommodation of C having the choice to use EPGY. They also said that C needs time (i.e. no accommodations) to level out his asynchronous development. That’s an interesting theory of theirs, but I’d rather address his development where it is instead of ignoring his asynchrony, crossing my fingers and waiting for him to reach adulthood (which is probably how much time he’ll need to level out).
Their latest message, received last week, suggested that they probably won’t want C back next year or at the least won’t allow him to progress to the next grade despite his achievement. So, we’re back to looking at schools for next year. Our hope is that we can get his public school GIEP improved and send him there for second grade in the fall. It would save us a lot of money and at least there they’d be required to follow through with his accommodations. Along with the EPGY saga, C’s current school had told us he’d receive enrichment twice a week with the learning specialist, but C tells me that he only goes once a week.
I hate that all of our educational options seem to be choosing the least worst fit. I hate that a 5 year old has to go through all this. Each time he gets tested I tell him it’s so that they can make school better for him and then it never happens. Now he’s due for more testing this month from the public school to work on his GIEP and I haven’t even mentioned it to him. What do I even say anymore? Somehow this process has seem to become all about the adults, the schools and my battles with them… and C gets lost in it all.
