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A lot can happen in a week. First, I got invited to an interview at my first choice graduate school. I’m very excited and also terribly nervous. I have a bit less than two weeks to prep for the interview. I’m not even sure exactly what prepping I should do, but have already started to pick the brains of everyone I can think of who ever went on a graduate school interview. What am I going to wear?!
Next, we finally got an updated copy of C’s GIEP less than 24 hours before our meeting with the school district. It gave us very little time to digest what we were reading, some of which was quite surprising. It turns out that C’s testing last week didn’t go as smoothly as we thought. While we were only told at the time that he was fidgety and lost interest before they could complete the testing, but the report contained a rather lengthy list of test behaviors going as far as quantifying how many times C dropped his pencil during each test.
I was a bit heartbroken when I read the report, because C was obviously in distress to have been acting the way they claimed (which included rolling around on the floor). It was quite a lot more than fidgeting and if we had known the truth we wouldn’t have taken him back for the afternoon session. His test results (the pieces he actually completed) ended up being skewed and did not reflect his actual knowledge or abilities. They said he had trouble measuring and telling time, two things he has no problems with at home. More important than the test results, they confronted us the next day about having C evaluated for ADHD.
Back in August I shared some of my thoughts about ADD. Since then it’s been in the back of my head that C may need an evaluation at some point, especially since attention and distractibility came up as areas of concern on C’s sensory profile at his OT evaluation in December. Still, there is a lot of overlap in behaviors between giftedness, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and ADD/ADHD. Allergies can cause some of the same behaviors as well and C is a very allergic kid. So I’m still not convinced C has ADD, but it looks likely that our school district will label him as such.
Of course I found a way to stress myself out even further by panicking once more about little Z’s speech development. He’s been making progress with initial consonant deletion and putting two words together more often, but seemed to have made very little progress towards sentences. Most of his two word phrases were just describing objects (blue circle, big shirt, etc.) or asking for more (more shapes, more crackers). He rarely put three words together and often sounds like a broken record, repeating the same word over and over again. Suddenly it hit me how far behind he is from many other kids his age (and his brother at that age, even though I know I shouldn’t compare). I read a comment that his cousin who is 5 months younger said a complex sentence and then just started to second guess everything. Is he really making enough progress? Are we even working on the right things? Is there something bigger going on?
Well, little Z had a surprise in for me and started this week to put three words together more often (though still infrequently) and using -ing words. He’s talked about hiding, eating and reading in just the past few days. It was just what I needed to get out of panic mode and put my thoughts back to all the other (more constructive) stuff I should be focusing on!
I did finally talk to C last weekend about the testing. I was quite surprised that he had no questions at all. I told him he’d be going back to the same school where he did some tests before to do two more math and reading tests and he just accepted it. This is really out of character for C, who usually questions everything to the point that I lose my patience. I guess he’s either so used to this kind of testing that it doesn’t phase him anymore or maybe he already knows what’s going on.
It was a lot to ask of him in one day, to take two math and reading tests in a strange school with strange people. Although they said they give their students the same tests, they don’t take so many at once, and C did not get to work on them independently. There were sections where he had to read aloud, which I’m kind of doubting they have all of their students do unless they individually administer these tests to each kid. I just don’t want them comparing apples to oranges.
We’re still waiting on the results and an updated version of C’s GIEP from the school district. We’re set to meet with them on Tuesday and I’ve been e-mailing and leaving voicemails asking when we would have the information so that we have time to review it prior to the meeting. No one has gotten back to me and likely won’t until Monday. Unless it shows up in the mail tomorrow, we will have little or no time to review it before the meeting…
Time is just flying by and now C’s additional testing with our public school district is just days away and I still haven’t mentioned it to him. I will have to this weekend, but still am uncertain how I will approach it. I’m not sure whether I should be honest and tell him that it’s likely he’ll go to public school next year. I’ve tried to get a sense of how he’d feel about that, but it’s been hard. On the one hand, he’s not as happy with his private school as he once was, but on the other hand, he seems to still like it for the most part. He has made a couple friends that I’m sure he would miss.
Along with not wanting to put any stress on him thinking about a move to a new school, I also don’t want him telling the world he’s going to a new school next year. Last year around this time he visited another school we applied to and then announced to his kindergarten class that he was going to a new school! Of course we were just looking at different options and he didn’t even end up going to that school. He also didn’t make it clear that we were looking at schools for next year and that he wasn’t leaving mid-year (something I needed to clarify to his teacher). I know he’s a year older now, but C is still unlikely to keep the information to himself. I figure that I’ll need to explain to him that we’re just keeping our options open and that these tests will help… somehow…
The district will be giving C two math and reading tests, one of each from the end of first grade and another of each from mid second grade. He will have all four tests in one day, but broken into two sessions separated by lunch and a little down time. Unlike the IQ tests he’s taken, these content tests will probably be boring. They seem to me to be a necessary evil. I don’t want him to be tested further, but the district needs the information to gauge where C is currently academically. The achievement testing they did in the summer showed little more than the fact that he’s gifted. It didn’t indicate what curriculum he needs. We’re hoping to get subject acceleration written into C’s GIEP or at least a clearly defined and measurable plan for differentiation.
On a different topic, C had his last session of occupational therapy this week. We’re still waiting for the school OT evaluation. Since his school dropped the ball with the paperwork, we’ve been waiting over 3 months now. The report from the private OT lists C as having “impaired sensory processing”, which isn’t very descriptive. I’ve been reading The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder and have learned that there are many aspects to Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). C seems to fit into some of the sensory seeking categories, but nothing is clear cut.
One thing that really caught my eye in the book was this statement in chapter 2 in a section titled Sensory Combination: The Sensory Fluctuator – “I love this, I hate that.”:
“The need to feel in control of people, objects, and experiences is a major issue for the child who does not feel in control of herself.”
This seems to describe C perfectly and really stuck a chord with me. The book also mentions how a child’s behavior can vary between different environments like home and school. This too explains a lot, as C’s SPD seems dramatically magnified at school. What had seemed like a very minor issue at home really caught us off guard this year at his new school.
Perhaps not surprisingly, it’s been a bit hectic lately between Z’s speech therapy and C’s occupational therapy. The good news is that both seem to be going well. Z is coming up to his two month mark with Early Intervention and has been going to private therapy for four months now to work on his phonological process issue of Initial Consonant Deletion. During that time he’s been slowly adding on beginning sounds, first W’s and H’s, and in the past month he started adding a lot of B’s and P’s. Things seemed to have clicked for him and he’s been able to segment words much more easily, either repeating after a model or segmenting words entirely himself to be able to get both the beginning and the end. We’re really thrilled with Z’s progress and that he’s been putting two words together more often. All of a sudden he seems to have more to say. It may never be quiet around here again…
C has been going to occupational therapy for almost a month now and his last appointment is next week. The OT has worked on his hand strength and sensory integration. It’s up to us to continue the work at home, including the brushing program. Also, on the OT’s recommendation, I checked out The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder from the library and need to start reading that. I feel like we hopefully have the sensory piece under control, but am left wondering about attention issues. C’s sensory profile showed attention/distractibility to be an issue and C’s teacher has said she’s also noticed it, in particularly when he needs to work independently. His mind often wanders and he’s left off task.
It’s ironic, because I was always worried about C being mislabeled with ADD due to the overlap with gifted traits. Now that I actually have a concern that he may have an issue with ADD, the OT turned out to be completely dismissive about it. It may be because she didn’t see any attention issues in her brief sessions with C and could only go by that. So I guess we’ll just have to see how things go. C is still waiting to be evaluation by an OT at school, which may give us more answers. It may be that the issue is more with C’s school environment than with C himself.
Last month, I got called a pushy parent by C’s school. I’m not too surprised about that, because I’ve spent months going back and forth with them about getting accommodations for C. This is despite the fact that I let them know about his needs when we applied last year and again over the summer before he began. So, I’m sure to them I’m a thorn in their side and seem pushy. However, I don’t see advocating for my child as being a negative like they do.
It’s been almost dizzying the back and forth about using EPGY at school. Shortly after my last update, they tried to pull the plug on EPGY yet again and told us to pick up the laptop. They made this decision after C chose to do the classwork over EPGY a few days in a row. Therefore they decided he should never have the opportunity to use EPGY at school the rest of the year. When I told them how disappointed C was and how we had mistakenly thought he had the choice of which to do depending on whether he was engaged in the classwork, suddenly they reversed direction again and we were told we can leave the laptop. This on again, off again way of dealing with accommodations is very difficult on C and us.
By now C knows that the school does not support him using EPGY or doing anything differently from the rest of his class. He’s pretty good at figuring out people and situations and now seems to adapt what he says to whoever he’s speaking with. There have been a few situations so far where he’s told me and his school the complete opposite. He knows what we want to hear, and is more than happy to oblige, regardless of the truth. I feel bad that he thinks he can’t be himself.
While I was not surprised to be called pushy by C’s school, some of the rest of their message was a shock. They went on make a series of critical comments about my parenting and how I’m going to damage C. They also turned my asking for C to experience at least some academic challenge into my wanting him to constantly learn new material without any down time or review, which they go on to say is unhealthy and inhuman. Of course I never advocated for such a thing and in fact had only asked for a 20 minute per day accommodation of C having the choice to use EPGY. They also said that C needs time (i.e. no accommodations) to level out his asynchronous development. That’s an interesting theory of theirs, but I’d rather address his development where it is instead of ignoring his asynchrony, crossing my fingers and waiting for him to reach adulthood (which is probably how much time he’ll need to level out).
Their latest message, received last week, suggested that they probably won’t want C back next year or at the least won’t allow him to progress to the next grade despite his achievement. So, we’re back to looking at schools for next year. Our hope is that we can get his public school GIEP improved and send him there for second grade in the fall. It would save us a lot of money and at least there they’d be required to follow through with his accommodations. Along with the EPGY saga, C’s current school had told us he’d receive enrichment twice a week with the learning specialist, but C tells me that he only goes once a week.
I hate that all of our educational options seem to be choosing the least worst fit. I hate that a 5 year old has to go through all this. Each time he gets tested I tell him it’s so that they can make school better for him and then it never happens. Now he’s due for more testing this month from the public school to work on his GIEP and I haven’t even mentioned it to him. What do I even say anymore? Somehow this process has seem to become all about the adults, the schools and my battles with them… and C gets lost in it all.
C goes back to school tomorrow after a long winter break at home. I thought he’d be excited to go back to school, but was saddened to discover that he’s not looking forward to it at all. He’s had issues maintaining friendships this year and I think he’s starting to feel alienated. He had been happy at school despite the slow pace and repetition, as long as he had friends. I think a lot of the problem with maintaining friendships is tied to C’s sensory issues. So, I’m pretty frustrated that the school dropped the ball on getting him an OT evaluation.
We took him for a private evaluation before Christmas and it was recommended that we start a brushing program (Wilbarger Brushing Protocol) as part of a sensory diet for C. The therapist thought that he should only need three or four visits with her and then at that point we should have a plan for school and home that will work well with him. Right now I’m feeling pretty optimistic and am hopeful that working with C’s sensory issues will improve things for him socially.
One interesting outcome from his OT evaluation is that they administered the Beery VMI. This showed his visual perception as falling in the 99.98th percentile, which is phenomenal. It’s made me return to reading I did long ago about visual-spatial learners. While I wasn’t sure C fell into this category back then, it’s starting to look like more of a fit now.
For those seeking more information about sensory integration, check out Asynchronous Development and Sensory Integration Intervention in the Gifted and Talented Population.
Last week the latest Davidson Institute eNews-Update was published. Worth noting is their updated map of gifted policies by state and list of summer programs. I have also started updating my links section with more resources that I have come across, including colleges with various summer and weekend programs for gifted students. Happy holidays!
My husband came across an interesting article in The New York Times titled Studying Young Minds, and How to Teach Them. While it doesn’t mention gifted children, it does talk about how cognitive neuroscience is changing our expectations about teaching young children. It’s interesting to see that it wasn’t until recently that scientists realized that children under 5 could grasp early math concepts. Of course this seems shocking to me, considering all the math C was doing before age 5, but the article is referring to ND (normally developing) children. Because preschoolers were largely believed to not be capable of understanding math concepts, they were rarely given the opportunity to learn them. Unfortunately, the same reasoning is often applied to gifted children, that they cannot or should not learn advanced material, and are left to do much of their learning outside of school.
Also worth noting, Davidson has updated its list of Gift Ideas for Eager Young Minds. I’m happy to see that at least two of the presents C is getting are on the list. This year we have tried to stay away from buying books, however. He goes through them too quickly and rarely returns to them later. Instead we’ve been doing well with his weekly trips to his school library and biweekly trips to our local library. I am thrilled that I discovered I could request books online and have them waiting for me!
For those with mathy kids, last month MamaTo2 on Davidson’s gifted forum recommended Think Math, a collection of many Flash-based math games along with math songs and other resources . C has been busy with EPGY math, so we haven’t really explored this site yet, but plan to check it out more thoroughly sometime.
The first time I saw the acronym IRL in a blog, I had no clue what it referred to. I forget if I Googled it or finally figured it out from context, but it meant “In Real Life”. The blogger was concerned that someone from her real life was reading her blog, which hadn’t been censored. Let’s face it, most of us would at least phrase things differently if we knew certain people from our real lives were reading what we wrote. Because of this, the only person from my real life that I’ve shared my blog with is my husband. I didn’t want to worry about censoring myself and I wanted to make sure that I maintained my children’s privacy.
Let’s face it, though, the internet is an open book. Anyone can come across this blog through a simple Google search, including someone from IRL. Because of this, when I posted my last blog entry, I started to rethink what I had written about Early Intervention. The speech pathologist from EI has a gifted daughter and may come across my blog. If so, what would she think? I debated going back and editing my entry. I started to think about whether I was too harsh, too negative, too anything.
I also started to think about how I would feel if I showed up in someone’s blog. Maybe there is a speech pathologist out there with a blog talking about some parent who’s not the most cooperative, too opinionated, thinks her son’s issue is bigger than it is, etc. Would I be offended? I guess it may matter if I felt the criticism was warranted or not. I’m not sure.
I decided, at least at this point, not to go back and edit my blog. Sure, there are some things I’ve written that I wouldn’t be thrilled about C’s school seeing, for example, but I’m not sure the point of keeping a blog if I’m going to have to censor myself constantly. Incidentally, the blogger I mentioned earlier decided to password protect her blog and since I didn’t have time to read it regularly, I never asked her for the password. I wonder how she’s doing…
Since my last update, Z has now had two sessions with Early Intervention. It would have been three, but the speech pathologist needed to reschedule our session today, which actually was pretty poor timing since this was the first week that I dropped Z’s second session of private therapy. My thought was that he should hopefully be covered by one session of private therapy and one EI session each week. I’m not sure how valid that idea is, though, because the two seem completely dissimilar.
I’m trying not to be too judgmental, since it’s only been two weeks plus I’m trying to be less judgmental in general these days. Still, I have to say that I’m a bit surprised by how EI is going so far. The speech pathologist has been interacting very little with Z and seems more focused on working around Z’s speech problems than on them. It makes me wonder if EI is always that way, or if it’s just the speech pathologist we’re working with. She’s a perfectly nice woman, but has been out of EI for years and literally just returned. Meanwhile, she spent much of the time in between working on alternative communication methods. She’s relearning the EI process, paperwork, etc. and getting to know us at the same time. Maybe it will just take more time for things to click. It makes me wonder if I should go back to taking Z to private therapy twice a week in the meantime.
A number of people have come by my blog looking for more about initial consonant deletion, probably because there is just so little information out there about it. I suppose it being atypical means it gets little attention, quite similar to giftedness, actually! I’ve found very little online about how to work with initial consonant deletion, except for some activities that involve rhyming words. The idea seems to be to have the child focus on a set of words with the same ending to learn that he/she must differentiate between them somehow (adding initial sound). This may work great for older children, but for my 27 month old it’s not helpful yet.
What has worked somewhat is majorly de-emphasizing the ends of words. So “boat” becomes “BOOOOOOOOat”, with the end of the word almost a whisper. This seems to help Z focus on the beginning sounds and not get bogged down with the end. He’s been able to segment his words this way after modelling – “Boa-t”, where the opposite “B-oat” is too difficult for him. I find it interesting, because logic would seem to dictate that if he’s leaving off the first consonant to try to get him to say that alone and then tack on the rest of the word. We tried for a while with the “B-B-B-B-oat” business and he’d have none of it. He’d just repeat “oat, oat, oat” and ignore the “B”. So now we’re segmenting like “Beeee-d”, “behhh-d”, “booo-m”.
Although we’ve found some success in this strategy, Z still leaves off the beginnings of a lot of words and requires a lot of modeling to segment. He’s improved the most with “H” and “W” starting words and can now say “hat” instead of “at” and “wet” instead of “et”. The therapist spent a lot of time on those sounds, using Kaufman cards and he now uses those beginning sounds quite consistently on his own. He seems to struggle the most with bilabials, like the B examples above.
While I haven’t been able to find many resources about initial consonant deletion, there are at least a number of references to it in Treating Phonological Disorders in Children by Howell and Dean. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find this book at the library, so was only able to catch bits and pieces of it from the Amazon preview. If I come across other resources, I’ll try to post them here for those who are interested.
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